Jealousy

Today I decided to finally start with my Biology presentation, since it is not fun to do your homework assignment after Raya. There is a favourite spot at home where I usually did my works. It is at the very front part of my house, that used to be the verandah, but now had been walled in. The light is brilliant here, and the breeze is masyaAllah! Very endearing :) I was prepared, you know. With my Biology E-book on screen and my syllabus details in hand, all I need to do was to get that Powerpoint going.

Tetapi seperti biasa, kita buka Facebook dulu.

Then I saw one of my friends posted a video. It's a da'wah video, but they did it in such a fun way that it was interesting. I was hooked. So I started to open blogs, pages, and more da'wah links. I felt ashamed that I didn't realise there are a whole community of da'i out there trying to reach out to the teenagers, specifically. A teenager like me. And the worst part is (for me, really) that they are of the same age as me. They are born in the same year as I am, went to the same phase of school, and yet they already contributed to the society of Muslims. And I did nuthin'.

As I read Aisyah Shakirah's blog, I felt this burning feeling of envy. I envied this girl. I feel jealous towards her. Why is it, that at such a young age, (more importantly, the same age as I am) she had managed to achieve something so significant, by spreading her da'wah to the people around her? How many people had benefited from her writings and her vlogs? And what had I done, all this while?

I realised this. I knew that I didn't fulfil my duty as a caliph on this Earth. Forgive me, Allah.

Allah, please give me strength. I beg you.