silliness

Just when I decided that 'Okay, no more of this crush-business for me, I'm going to focus on UK only', it happens again. But right now seriously I'm tired of all this business. 

Dear heart, why can't you stay still? Why is it that you just have to like a person - in a way that is more than just friends? Why can't you see that your future is still kinda unstable and you better jump on board in the common sense ship that you're still too young for this kind of thing. (Maybe not too young, one of my batch-mates got married last month.)

Dear heart, you know that I'm terrible at liking a person. I will not know how to act, what should I do or say, basically all that is basic in effective human communication. Some people just have the charm, you know. It's easy for them to like a person because that person will like them back but not me. I'm awful in this business. I'm not charming and I will feel awkward. And that, will not come up good towards another person.

Might as well end up getting an arranged marriage. Easy. 

when i'm gone

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

Keberanganan

Astaghfirullah. All I did was daydreaming these days. 

And IB is not over yet pfftt.

dear you

Dear you, 

life is hard, I just realized recently. To be successful in dunya is hard, but to be successful in akhirat (read: to enter jannah) is even harder. The extent of this hardship had just been registered in my mind this last few years. 

Dear you,

I was daydreaming about us in the future just now. While in the kitchen, helping Mom to prepare the dishes for iftar. I was dreaming of how our house is going to look like, and how I'm going to laugh with your mother as she taught me how to cook your favourite dishes. And when Mom complained about how incapable I am in the kitchen, this made me realize, I am awfully not ready yet to meet you. Yes, you, my future husband, spouse, and lover, I am not ready. There is still a lot to be learnt - from being in the kitchen to being a good muslimah  aspect. To take care of my heart before meeting you is hard, but I'm going to try my best. And when that moment comes, I promise that you will be the first and the last person ever to get a hold on my heart and soul. 

Dear Allah,

thank you for continuing to be there for me. Thank you for giving me the chance to take a peek into the sweet, sweet world of Islam. Thank you for making me wanting it more. Thank you for listening to my rants, day or night. Even when sometimes I forget about You, Allah, You never forget about me and brought me back to Your path, every single time. 

Dear Allah,

I do not know who he is, but please take care of him. Keep his imaan intact and strong towards you, dear Allah, and I pray that you shall keep him safe. I feel that this might be too early to pray for my future husband's wellness, but I'd been advised to do so when I was thirteen, actually, by my English teacher. To quote her, 'It's never too early nor too late to pray'.

Bismillah. Amin.

Ramadhan To Do List

1. Pray all my prayers on time, along with their sunnahs.

2. Go for Taraweeh prayers as much as I can.

3. Read as much Qur'an as possible.

4. Give extra sadaqa throughout the month.

5. Be extra good to my parents.

6. Do not backbite, lie or curse.

7. Do not waste time online.

InsyaAllah!

Pledge for Ramadhan

I, Liyana Amira, shall try as hard as I could to complete those pledges in order to make the most of this year's Ramadhan.

1. To perform tarawih every night.
2. To be silent unless asked.
3. To perform duha prayer every day.
4. To finish all 30 juzs of Quran.
5. To be in wudhu' as often as possible.
6. To really take care of ikhtilat.
7. To try and lend my hand as often as possible.
8. To try and spread the Ramadhan spirit around.
9. To respect and obey my parents and teachers.
10. To actually try and like eating dates.
11. To be as nice as possible to everyone.

If I, Liyana Amira, shall ever fail to complete the pledge stated above...

....no, I don't even want to think about it. Let's harvest as many pahala as we could for this Ramadhan!

Ramble

Seriously, you're too good for me. There's no way you can ever look at this mess of a girl.